Grand Gestures: Debunking the Myth

I saw this picture online, and it clicked for me as the best picture representation of what I was about to write. So here goes…

In my humble opinion, grand gestures are not all they’re cracked up to be. I once pondered, “The line that separates stalking from romance is sometimes incredibly thin.”

Imagine a scenario: a man travels across borders without a word to surprise you with flowers.

If you like him, it’s cool, even romantic. But if you don’t like him, it’s stalking. So, really, the difference between being romantic and stalking is sometimes as simple as the fact that you like the person.

This is how I view grand gestures. Their greatness is entirely dependent on your feelings towards the person behind them. If there’s no mutual affection, the story takes a different turn.

So, that begs the question:

Can a grand gesture make someone like you? I think not.

It can only flourish if there’s a pre-existing seed of affection. It nurtures that seed into a blossoming tree of mutual fondness and connection. That’s why, no matter how nice a stalker is or how “romantic”, you can’t fall in love with them for it. So, no matter how well-intentioned a person might be, you can’t force love through extravagant gestures.

This brings me to the notion that being romantic is a subjective fantasy — a social construct. If you genuinely care for someone, even a simple proposal without the glamour of cameras and makeup would be met with a resounding “yes.”

Should this be the norm, one might wonder?

Social conventions often make us expect more than a straightforward proposal if someone truly loves us. This is not, in itself, a bad thing. Yet, if you truly care for them, even the simplest actions can be incredibly romantic.

Of course, I acknowledge that my views are not rooted in personal experience. I look forward to the day when I find myself in a blossoming romantic relationship, and then I can come back to either affirm or reconsider my perspective. 😊

Till then,