Selfishness vs Selflessness
Sitting in a bus while going out on a warm day and watching the Korean drama “Sky Castle,” I was struck by a quote that got stuck in my head for hours and remained there until I got back home. I tried to reach brilliant minds on social media for their opinions, and this led me to write this eloquent article from a philosophical perspective. This is the quote:
“Being absolutely selfish is a way to truly become selfless.”
Selfishness, according to the dictionary, is the condition of putting one’s own interests before those of others. However, selflessness is the state of exhibiting or being motivated by no concern for oneself but for others.
In fact, if you think about it, even statements like “I want you to be my friend” is a selfish statement because it dwells on what I want, not what you want. Or “I want you to be happy.” I want you to be, just because it will make me feel terrible if you aren’t. These all boil down to self-first statements.
The word “selfish” has been seen over time as a negative quality. According to Richard Dawkins’s book, “The Selfish Gene,” we realize that we all were born selfish, even down to the genes in our body. Being selfless is sometimes deceitfully selfish. A truly selfless act would have to be one in which the subject is well aware of the consequences of their actions, not in an unconscious or hypnotized state. They would have to be aware that the cons, for them as a person, outweigh the pros.
According to Ayn Rand’s philosophy, a selfish person is a person who pursues his goals and is guided by reason, not instantaneous whims or emotions. Such selfishness is also called rational. On the other hand, from personal acts of kindness to charitable gifts to strangers, altruism is seen as a high point of moral virtue. Yet studies suggest altruism is driven by self-interest and personal satisfaction. Does true altruism exist?
Do people really do anything without thinking about the benefits for themselves? People nowadays have charity programmes where they give to the needy and take lots of pictures for The Gram. This indirectly helps them seem like better people, which is a benefit that makes such giving a selfish act. It is obvious that, depending on the situation and viewpoint, selfish behaviour could be seen as selfless. A less trivial situation, though, would be when someone acts selflessly, but their actions might be seen by others as selfish.
One point of view supports the quote entirely:
“Being selfish is the gateway to selflessness, because you learn to take care of your own personal needs first in order to use that as collateral later so that you can really, truly help.” This means caring for the environment stems from caring about yourself and your family and trying to keep you healthy, which might end up benefiting many. Even when we act in a seemingly selfless way, we almost always do so after weighing a few selfish factors. Another factor to take into account is the idea that all behaviour is ultimately selfish because the greater good contributes to the individual good. By giving donations to poor kids, you are ensuring that these kids have better opportunities, thus avoiding that they would have otherwise become delinquents who might have endangered your own children, so ultimately you were doing it for the benefit of your own children. This can be interpreted as: In being absolutely selfish, we learn to be selfless and have a chance to care for others.
Selfishness is the condition of putting one’s own interests ahead of those of others, whereas selflessness is demonstrated or motivated by having no regard for oneself but for others. This is the key distinction between the two. This is why another point of view says that selfishness can never lead to selflessness, just as blindness and sight are two contrasting terms. This means that a selfish person can never be selfless because it negates the very definition of selflessness. So, someone who has seen the connection between himself and others, seeing his fellow man as bone in his bones and flesh in his flesh, and thus loving and caring for others as himself, is no longer selfish.
If we critically examine it, neither is the way to go. Not caring for others but oneself alone isn’t advisable. If the country is good, then it affects the individual’s standard of living just as it will if the country is bad. This shows the need to care for people in general, as it all comes back to you. However, by definition, this thought is selfish in itself. Caring so much for others that you neglect yourself is not the way to go. It is detrimental and can be an indirect form of self-harm. “Love your neighbour as yourself,” Christ said. Not more nor less than, but as thyself. It seems that to show love to others wholeheartedly, one must first love themselves wholeheartedly. Without self-love, it is a tricky task to try to love others. This can be interpreted as meaning that one must first revert to being selfish. It’s all very confusing.
In the words of Richard Dawkins, the author of The Selfish Gene, “Let us try to teach generosity and altruism because we are born selfish. Let us understand what our own selfish genes are up to, because we may then at least have the chance to upset their designs, something that no other species has ever aspired to do.”
