The Thin Line Between Romance and Toxicity

When ‘I Can’t Live Without You’ Becomes a Warning Sign”

In a world filled with romantic proclamations, phrases like “I can’t live without you” and “You are my dream” have been frequently used. But are these declarations truly romantic, or do they signal the beginnings of a toxic relationship?

My recent encounter with the plot of a series vividly demonstrated how such words can spiral into tragedy. In the story, a lady tragically ended her life in front of her boyfriend after he expressed the desire to break up with her. This shocking incident not only led to the woman’s death but also made the man a murder suspect widely despised and known throughout the country. He couldn’t even step outside safely without concealing his identity behind a mask.

So when do declarations like “I can’t live without you” transition from being romantic to being indicators of a toxic relationship?

The transformation occurs when love morphs into an obsession, when seeing the person becomes an absolute necessity at specific times, by any means necessary. It becomes toxic when you’re willing to take the risk of putting meaning behind those words and exploiting them to manipulate your partner, shifting from “I can’t live without you” to “I will die without you.” When your love turns into a form of emotional blackmail to retain a partner who no longer reciprocates those feelings, it’s no longer romantic but decidedly toxic.

Breakups, however painful, are a part of life, and people have the freedom to end relationships, even when their partners may not comprehend the reasons. While understanding or attempting to change their minds can be reasonable, when those efforts fail, the only option is to let go. Any actions beyond this point can transform into obsession and toxicity, making the statement lose its intrinsic value and become frustrating to the hearer.

Even in a committed relationship, it’s essential for partners to have individual dreams and pursuits beyond each other, as they cannot always be with each other. These individual dreams can be shared to deepen the bond, but when one partner insists, “I have no dream; you are my dream,” it’s a declaration that raises a red flag. This statement reflects extreme dependency, often leading to jealousy, clinginess, and other toxic behaviours when the partner is not present.

This toxic behaviour can manifest in different ways.

He picks up the phone when you’re not there and deletes messages from every guy, even business partners.

She picks up your calls and tells every lady not to contact you, even your boss.

He tries to dictate all your relationships and your life simply because you’re together, instead of trusting you to be faithful.

In all these scenarios, exhibiting extreme possessiveness.

In a healthy relationship, trust and individuality are crucial, and such behaviour contradicts those principles.

Entering into a relationship with someone who claims they can’t live without you may initially feel flattering, but it’s essential to recognise it as a potential red flag, signalling the need for open communication and boundaries to maintain a healthy connection.

PS: The series referenced at the beginning of this post is a 2023 Korean drama titled “My Lovely Liar.”

You may want to check that out and just watch how the story unfolds.